he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you didnt know i had herpes?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
