can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
