My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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