I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Damn victory sex feels great
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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