honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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