so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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