I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
