If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
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