I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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