He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize