you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
