Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
