i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
