Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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