I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
