She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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