i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My life is pants optional.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
