I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize