i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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