You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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