tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
false alarm. still invincible.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
