I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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