i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
