Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
