The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
