How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
