It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
