Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
it was like eating out sand paper
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
