lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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