you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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