bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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