yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
