The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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