have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i drank out of a bidet.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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