Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
