You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
