Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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