he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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