Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
