You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
