nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
