So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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