Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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