I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
