I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
