Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
