Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
