apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
