i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
