hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
