I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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