come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
